rage recovery for moms

Posts tagged relationships

Because I Want My Husband to Change

We can write from the wound or the scar. This is a lightly edited, self-coaching/journaling piece written from a (minor) wound of mine. This is where I am right now. This is real life. Even as I’m telling him he should interact differently with our kids I realize my hypocrisy. I’m criticizing him, feeling irked […]

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What Need Does Your Vote Express?

What need does your vote express? Safety? Security? Personal power? Freedom? Validation? Your enemy’s vote–the one whose views are diametrically opposed to yours–expresses the same needs. You want the same things. The only difference is which road you think will take you there. Each vote expresses a need. Let’s listen. We can all help others feel heard. And work […]

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8 Tenets of Parenting

Kids want to feel connected to their parents. Kids want their parents’ approval. Parents are doing the best they can. Kids are doing the best they can. Both adults and children crave and thrive on autonomy. Respect is a two way street. What you are doing as a parent pales in comparison to who you […]

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We Have Different Melting Points, But We’re All Doing the Best We Can

Originally written on 1/2/14 for my personal blog. Through three months of 24 hour a day co-parenting, I watched an emotional balance scale on which my husband and I rode. In the beginning, my side was heavily weighted. His rose high above. Over time I became lighter–more patient, more kind, more content. Over time he became less patient […]

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When Craving Connection

Last night I read this line in Unconventional Wisdom: Stories Beyond the Mind to Awaken the Heart: You crave the connection of others because it is lacking within yourself. Where are you disconnected from your true self. . .? Whoa. It stopped me in my tracks. And even when I was ready to continue I kept […]

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Smitten

During the concert I wrote about in my one of my last posts the band brought about a dozen people from the crowd onto the stage. I noticed one of them, a woman, right away. Something about her look, her clothes, her movement, her confident sexiness, her way of being. She caught the eye of the guitarist, […]

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The Secret to Redefining Success as a Mom

We’re conditioned to rely on others to determine our success. As children (and maybe even as adults) our parents told us if we were doing a good job or not. Our teachers graded us on our work as well as our verbal participation and behavior. Our bosses give us promotions or raises based on how […]

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How to Close the Distance Between You and Another Person

Acknowledge and Validate. The two most basic skills of coaching as I know it. To acknowledge means to let the other person know you’ve heard what he or she has said by paraphrasing it or sharing the meaning you got from it. To validate means to let the other person know that what he or […]

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Interpretation, You’re Making Shit Up

A few months ago I roped my husband into an experiment on interpretation. When he would say something of his experience that I disagreed with as being true or real I asked him on a scale of 0-10 how true the thing he said/thought/observed was for him. One time the situation involved how full/empty the […]

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When You’re Desperate for Validation

Often I talk to women who are desperate to be validated by someone, namely their partners. I know what it’s like—I’ve been there. Still am at times. I used to feel like my husband didn’t validate me enough. I wanted to hear that my idea held promise or that I was worth the money I […]

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